The Bloomberg family gets two slimy new members and theyre not politicians

My VIP exclusive information begins with a garden-variety snail.My own deep sea wisdom — sharpened in the Rockaways — brings me to this heavy-duty situation.

Not my usual-type problem that barks, pees and gets rich in DC, but pay attention:Two snails were just “rescued.” Size of your pinky.Escargots cost heavy if ordered in a high-class French restaurant.

A ruler determined this patient’s length was smaller than a folded-up C-note.Mike Bloomberg’s daughter cares for them as pets and one’s shell was decaying.Medics determined the problem as bacterial or fungal.

The hospital’s exotic team X-rayed both to see what the healthy shell looked like versus the unhealthy.So they put a control animal there — do not ask me where one grabs a control snail.Why Bloomberg’s daughter treasures such creatures or her need for snails is not clear.

This bacterial or fungal infection was decomposing one’s shell.The patient turned out to be male — though how you tell, this I’m not sure.Afterward they compared shells.

Resin was applied.Also high doses of antibiotic and antifungal agents.

Mixed with a resin it’s painted on the shell.Listen, some of us did that with husbands.Touching the medication to the snail itself? Not safe.The stuff needs to be meticulously applied to the shell — and stay there.

It was determined that this antibiotic fungal infection presumably comes from congestion.Instantly I receive advance information on its well-being, I shall report it.For now I thank the Animal Medical Center’s Dr. Doug Palma for sharing this information.

Sometimes you can go a whole week without a good snail story.Why’s New Yorker magazine — which I’d devour cover to cover if each issue’s piece didn’t last longer than my hair tint — feel a need to pee on me regularly? One recent issue tinkled on me saying they heard I was in a dermatologist’s office.This past week — they peed on me again.

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