Indiana man who died in plane crash wrote own comedic obit: I am completely dead now

Author of his own fate.An Indiana man wrote a darkly funny obituary for himself, which was published after he died in a crash involving his homemade plane.Gary Wolflet, 72, fatally crashed his self-made single-engine Express 2000 FT plane in Ohio on May 5, and though he was perhaps not prepared for the accident, he was ready for the inevitable, according to a report from WXIN.“Hello.I am Gary.

I am completely dead now.I am surprised that it took this long to happen,” the deceased man wrote.“I had several close calls throughout my lifetime.

I guess that I was just lucky that something didn’t get me long before now.”Wolfelt then chronicled a series of cartoonish close calls that occurred over the course of his life — including taking a baseball to the head as a Little Leaguer, being kicked in the stomach by his sister’s horse Cricket, getting hit by a car, narrowly escaping a falling chimney, and taking a spill down a flight of stairs while holding a concrete-lined safe that landed on his chest.After that last fall, Wolfelt said he was forced to go to a doctor who discovered he had prostate cancer — “I had just dodged another bullet.”“I cannot tell you here what sort of event actually killed me as I wrote this obituary before I was completely dead.Someone else will have to fill in the details later on I guess,” he added, not knowing he’d end up leaving this life doing one of his favorite things.

In a heartwarming turn in the comedic obit, the amateur aviator also laid out his “most important accomplishments.”“I stayed lovingly married to the same woman for a long time.I cut about 100 cords of firewood.

I fixed a lot of problems for a lot of people over the last fifty years.I paid all of my bills with my own earnings.

I only took welfare (Social Security) after I retired,” he stated simply.Wolfelt didn’t want children, so instead he and his wife Esther had dogs — which he admitted to liking more than “most people that I came...