The secrets of a meaningful and lifelong grandparent-grandchild bond
Each Friday night, Jewish families do what we have done for thousands of years.We sit down for the moment we have anticipated all week: Shabbat dinner.Before the meal, we engage in a few ritual practices.
The woman of the house lights the Shabbat candles, ushering in the sacred day.We welcome the Sabbath day in song, we bless God over the wine and the bread, and we serenade (from Psalms 31) the Jewish woman.The best part – the moment that earns our highest anticipation throughout the week – is when we bless our children.
It is a moment so sublime that the Jewish parent can, by laying his or her hands on the child, feel the presence of God at the Shabbat table.The blessing that we make over our daughters is: “May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” This is easily understandable.These are our matriarchs – the most prominent women in the Book of Genesis.The blessing that we give our sons is very different.We say: “May God make you like Ephraim and Menasseh.”An observer would not be blamed for saying: “Who?”After all, Ephraim and Menasseh are obscure figures, so much so that they never speak a word in the whole Torah! Why, the observer might follow, don’t you bless your sons to be like Abraham, Joseph, Moses or King David?The truth is: The blessing only gets stranger.The blessing that Jewish boys receive on Friday night was given in the Torah — but not by a father.It was given by a grandfather, Jacob (who is also known as Israel).So why, at the holiest moment of the week, do Jewish parents pass on a blessing from a grandfather to two otherwise obscure grandchildren?Because the Bible is revealing something profound about human flourishing.Ephraim and Menasseh are the only characters in Genesis who have a relationship with a grandparent.And when Jacob blesses them, the Torah doesn’t call him Jacob.
It calls him Israel.What is the significance? Let’s turn to Exodus 1:1: “These are the names of the sons of Israel who are coming...