Face it Disneys live-action remakes are worthless abominations

I’m miffed at Mickey.Disney, Hollywood’s Meh-gic Kingdom, has once again delivered another awful live-action remake of a well-loved cartoon. For more than a decade, the House of Mouse has been addicted to these robotic abominations.It’s a sickness.Over the weekend, the latest poor unfortunate soul was “Lilo & Stitch,” that sweet little 2002 movie about a Hawaiian girl and her fuzzy alien friend.Said Disney: “Let’s ruin it!”As only Diz knows how to do, the studio turned the story into a soulless downer, made its color palette practically sepia and tacked on an extra half hour of dead air.It’s a rancid trend, as evidenced by the PR and box office wreckage of “Snow White” with Rachel Zegler, and the sloppy mush they made out of “The Little Mermaid.”Bob Iger and Co.’s maniacal formula? Take cherished movies, uglify ‘em, clumsily toss in political correctness and — presto! — here’s a lousy cash grab.   Has any of these debacles ever improved upon the animated original? Nope. Has one ever even been on par? Nope.Have all the corporate automatons cruelly stomped on the magic and creativity of millions of childhoods? Oh, yes!And yet the nasty habit, born out of pathetic desperation, shows no sign of letting up.

The company that actually employs artisans known as “Imagineers” has got no imagination left in the tank.So, rinse and repeat, it is. I’m still enraged by the 2019 “Lion King” update, which warped Simba, Mufasa and Scar into harsh, photo-realistic animals.

Look, kids! A lifelike warthog and meerkat ridiculously singing “Hakuna Matata” with beady eyes and expressionless mouths! Suddenly families were watching “Planet Earth: The Musical.” Perhaps Nala will kill a zebra.And what a calamity 2023’s “The Little Mermaid” was.Take it from me — it was definitely not better down where it’s wetter.

I wanted to crawl out of my skin when Prince Eric tried to make out with Ariel during “Kiss the Girl.�...