Dear Abby: My 2-year-old disrupted her grandmothers funeral service and my family is furious

DEAR ABBY: My husband’s stepmother passed recently after a long illness, and her children specifically wanted our family, including our 2-year-old, to be at her service.When we arrived at the church, I tried to sit in the back pew so I could take her out when she was antsy, but they put us in front with the rest of the family.Predictably, we lasted there for only about 30 minutes before my daughter started being disruptive.

I took her out to the vestibule where she had a tantrum, so I then took her down into the basement playroom.Immediately after the funeral, my in-laws came after me and berated me for “ruining” the video they had professionally produced of the service.They said that not only can you see us exiting the sanctuary, but you can hear my daughter making noise outside, which messed up the recording for everyone.There are many parts of this I don’t understand, like why there is a recording, but I’m not sure what to do next.

I have apologized for not insisting we sit in the back.Other than not attending at all, I think I did what I could to reduce our impact.

If it matters, my older kids sat nicely through the whole 90-minute service.Advice? — DISRUPTER IN IDAHODEAR DISRUPTER: It is not unusual for there to be sound and video recording at funerals.

Some are streamed on the internet for folks who can’t be there in person.The problem with 20/20 hindsight is that it isn’t foresight.Yes, you should have spoken up and reminded your in-laws about how short a 2-year-old’s attention span is, and yes, they should have taken that into consideration before berating you.

Even so, when viewed from a different perspective, the sound of a young child at that sad time, although distracting, may have been a reminder that life renews itself even in the presence of death.DEAR ABBY: I’m 42 and in the midst of a separation.My husband of 19 years decided he didn’t want to be married anymore.

We have three children, one of whom is disabled.My husband...