Mankeeping is ruining dating for women who are tired of relationship burnout: Im not your therapist

Turns out the real reason she’s not texting back might be because you treated her like your shrink.A recent study from Stanford has officially named the emotional labor sucking the life out of straight women: “mankeeping” — and it’s driving them straight out of the dating pool.The term refers to the exhausting, unpaid gig of managing men’s moods, stress and social lives — all while trying to keep their own mental health afloat.From decoding their partner’s emotional constipation to playing middleman with his buddies, women are being cast as live-in therapists, social secretaries and emotional scaffolding.And they’re over it.“In the U.S., about one in five men claim they have no close friends,” said Stanford postdoctoral fellow and developmental psychologist Angelica Puzio Ferrara during a talk at the Clayman Institute Faculty Research Fellows.“In comparison to women’s social networks, men’s social networks in the U.S.and UK tend to be thinner in depth, less frequent in emotional disclosure, and more rarely relied on for support.”Basically, he has no one else to talk to — so he trauma-dumps on you.Ferrara argues this male loneliness epidemic isn’t just a “him” problem — it’s a her burden.

And it’s pushing women to hit pause on relationships altogether.According to Pew Research, just 38% of single women are actively seeking love — compared to 61% of men.

That math adds up to one thing: women are opting out of being “therapists with benefits.”“This is the labor that women take on to shore up losses in men’s social networks and reduce the burden of this isolation on families, on the heterosexual bond itself, and on men,” Ferrara explained.“The barriers that men are facing in their relationships have the potential to expand women’s labor on men’s behalf.”In other words, it’s not just one needy boyfriend — it’s a system.Ferrara dubs this draining duty “mankeeping,” likening it to “kinkeeping”...