Art of the refusal: How to tactfully decline a wedding invite

It’s said that only people who hate their friends and family have a destination wedding.“While most of the conversations on wedding finance focus on the couple hosting the wedding, a large percentage of the overall spend of any wedding falls to the guests attending,” said Vijay Goel, co-owner, 440 Elm by Bite Catering Couture in Los Angeles.Still, “with some strategic planning,” it’s possible to attend without going broke, said wedding industry pros like Emily Reno, owner of Elopement Las Vegas.

“And if it doesn’t work with your financial situation, it’s absolutely OK to politely decline.”Ahead, the art of the wedding guest pushback and tips for saving moolah.It’s fine to decline a wedding invitation or skip out on, say, a bachelor shindig to Breckenridge, Colo., for a ski weekend you can’t afford.Reno has seen it all when it comes to guests backing out on wedding and wedding-related events and obligations.“One thing I’ve learned: Guests need to take a moment to assess their finances, work commitments and family situations before saying yes to everything,” she said.

The earlier you can give a couple a clear answer, the better.“Couples are much more understanding when someone is up-front about their situation,” she continued, adding that what’s really tough is when someone cancels last minute, especially after the couple has paid for your spot or planned around you being involved.

Don’t be that person.These guidelines also apply to being a not-so-merry maid or groomsman — especially if you have to buy an expensive suit or dress you’ll never wear again.“Being a member of a wedding party, especially the maid of honor, is a substantial commitment above and beyond that of the attending guest,” said Goel, who advised on honesty as the best policy.“Saying that while you would love to be a part of this and are honored to be included, the time and/or financial commitment requires more than you are capable of at this time,�...