NEW YORK -- NEW YORK (AP) — Weddings are meant to be celebrations of love.They also may require invited guests to make a financial commitment that brings them stress.
Whether it’s paying for hotels and flights to attend a destination wedding or different outfits and gifts for multiple pre-wedding events, friends and extended family often feel pressure to spend a large amount of money before the couple gets married.A sense of obligation and budget constraints can create resentment, hurt feelings and misunderstandings among friends and family.
Future spouses who are trying to plan their dream wedding and are worried about their own expenses might want to factor in their guests' potential costs.“Money is part of how we show up for one another,” Christine Hargrove, a licensed therapist who serves as assistant director of the Love and Money Center at the University of Georgia.“But don’t let finances get in the way of lifelong friendships or family relationships that are healthy and supportive."Hargrove often sees budgeting issues becoming friendship issues for couples and members of their wedding party.
While asking someone to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid usually is intended to show appreciation, sometimes left unacknowledged is the possible financial burden of being part of a bachelor or bachelorette party, as well as the big day itself.“If somebody says ‘I care about you, I really want to come to your wedding but I absolutely cannot afford five days in the Caribbean on top of already going to a wedding,’ don’t take it personally,” Hargrove advises.
Conversations surrounding money can be very emotional, but everyone involved will benefit if they approach the topic with understanding, recommended Hargrove.“Couples have to keep in mind that people do have different budgets, different backgrounds.
People have different work responsibilities and capabilities of taking PTO,” said Sarah Schreiber, a former magazine weddings editor turned weddi...