Dear Abby: My daughter is controlling my relationship with her son

DEAR ABBY: My daughter won’t allow me to have a relationship with my toddler grandson without constantly interfering.Everything is “no.” She says things like: “Don’t bring him a toy every time you come over — no more toys.

No TV.Don’t play the (kids) music too loud.

No, he cannot go outside; there are bugs or it’s too hot.Don’t give him milk now.

Don’t give him a snack.” I have to ask her permission for everything, and it is so stressful.When I tell her, “But you buy him toys,” she responds, “Well, I’m the mother.” It seems almost bizarrely competitive.

She’s exhausting.Does she have the right to disrupt my relationship with my only grandchild in this way? — CONTROLLED GRANDMA IN FLORIDADEAR GRANDMA: I’m afraid she does.

Not knowing your daughter, I can’t explain why she is determined to prevent you from spoiling your grandson.Perhaps she fears that he will love you more than he loves her.

Whatever her reason, if you want to have a relationship with that child, you are going to have to accept her “house rules.”DEAR ABBY: My son is hosting a reception for 30 guests at his home for his daughter’s (my granddaughter’s) wedding.It will be a professionally catered sit-down dinner complete with a professional bartender.

In your opinion, what is the protocol for tipping a bartender who will be paid handsomely by the company who employs him? The company is charging my son a steep hourly rate. Some think it is fine for this employee to have a tip jar at the bar.Others say it would be “tacky” to expect family and friends to tip above and beyond what my son is already paying, plus tipping him privately.

Please share your wisdom so we can put this unpleasant subject to rest.— ALREADY PAYING ENOUGH IN NEVADADEAR ALREADY PAYING: The reception is a private event.

The bartender is being compensated (“handsomely” or not) by the company that employs him.Your son will also be tipping him.

I wholeheartedly agree with ...