Jeff Ross next roast target is his home state get ready, New Jersey

Jeff Ross once schlepped to the Middle East.The comedian entertained sheikhs.

Now back, he’s skewering his hometown state, or what’s left of it following the jailing of its gold-loving Sen. Menendez. The show’s “The Roast of New Jersey.” It’s Saturday, Feb.28, at whatever’s Meridian Health Theatre in Red Bank.

You can probably get a laugh and a colostomy at the same time.Ex-NFL guy, now WFAN radio guy Tiki Barber’s in the thing.

Tickets go on sale tomorrow.But warning: The trip takes its toll.Ellen Easton does food, recipes, tea manners, etc., and sent menus for holiday time.

Plus, protocols.Like: RSVP if not attending.

Decline politely in writing, email or text.Inform your host of allergies.

Rude to ask to bring another guest, children, pests or your divorce lawyer.Send thank you afterward.This protocol, etiquette, manners, party specialist then sent another note: “I’m just informed my Christmas card has a typo.

It says ‘bight’ instead of ‘bright.’ ”Hey, Ellie, mazel tov.Itchy as to what to gift? Try crabs. Baltimore actor Dave DeBoy has written a book.Everybody’s written a book. Kamala’s even learning to read a book.

DeBoy’s given friends John Waters, Barry Levinson, Natalie Portman, Renée Zellweger, Julia Louis-Dreyfus his personally written thing “I Gave Baltimore Crabs (for Christmas).” I envy them.I now await the possible sequel which might be “Snails for Snowstorms.” Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson crawl around on all fours in “Die My Love.” Also naked a lot.

It’s about childbirth which doesn’t make them ecstatic.Jennifer: “Anybody who’s been through postpartum or depression should see this.Especially if you have a husband character like Robert.

That makes it a cautionary tale.”So I came across a reminder of the long-gone Pan Am’s Clipper Service for a holiday.Thanksgiving 1960.

The plane’s gone.Menu’s gone.

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