Dear Abby: My daughters family hates me and its affecting my mental health
DEAR ABBY: Ten years ago, I connected with “Christi,” a daughter I fathered with a woman I was in a relationship with for a short time decades ago.We split before Christi was born.
My ex-girlfriend didn’t tell me about her until after she was born.By that time, she was married to a man Christi knew as her dad.
However, she no longer acknowledges him as her father.Christi and I developed our relationship, and it would be impossible for me to love her more than I do.When I retired five years ago, she asked me to move closer to her and my 11-year-old granddaughter.
She said she would appreciate help with things like driving her to school and activities.Since relocating, though, I have been given very little access to either of them.
Christi’s family has poisoned my granddaughter against me.Whenever I see them, it’s always in a group of 10 or more, so we haven’t developed any of the closeness I was hoping for. This situation is making me miserable to the point of affecting my mental health.
I get the feeling that if I address this with Christi, I’ll be cast out of her life completely.I don’t think I could handle that.
Must I accept the limited role I have been given in their lives or risk our relationship by telling her how I feel? — LET DOWN IN FLORIDADEAR LET DOWN: The time has come to revisit those conversations you had with Christi in which she asked you to move closer.Tell her you agreed because you thought it would be an opportunity to spend time with her and get to know your granddaughter.
However, the result has been that you feel more like a free chauffeur service than a grandparent.Ask why this has happened. If the situation is fixable, talk with a licensed psychotherapist about how to accomplish it.
However, if there are no changes, return to the community from which you came before you suffer further emotional damage.** ** **DEAR ABBY: Where and how do you draw the line between being kind and being a people pleaser? Furthermore, h...