The Housemaid review: Sydney Sweeneys new thriller is a trashy Gone Girl ripoff

Running time: 131 minutes.Rated R (strong/bloody violent content, sexual assault, sexual content, nudity and language).

In theaters Dec.19.My favorite line from “The Housemaid” was, unusually, not spoken by a character who’s actually in the movie.During a scene in which new domestic helper Millie, played by Sydney Sweeney, is up late watching TV with her boss’ hot husband, an outraged woman in the theater shouted, “She’s spilling out of her shirt!”.The room erupted.

 Then Nina, maniacally played by Amanda Seyfried, walked in on the cozy pair.Almost as if the lady of the house heard the loudmouth audience member through the screen, she sternly added, “You need to dress appropriately from now on.”Good luck with that.Truly every line of this gussied up pile of trash is worthy of a yelled-out crowd response.

It’s one schlocky horror picture show.         Not that it’s juicy, funny, freaky or even campy enough to become a cult classic for college dorm rooms and a case of PBR.

But it passes the time and is never boring.“The Housemaid” is made to one day autoplay on Hulu while you’re vacuuming.The dumbness of the movie from director Paul Feig — the Archduke of Dumb — starts off as an asset.How can you not laugh when a rich kid who’s practically a child of the corn ghoulishly says, “Juice is a privilege, not something you drink out of a dirty glass.”?Or when Nina’s elaborately coiffed other half Andrew (Brandon Sklenar) ogles his live-in employee like she’s got bunny ears?That mindless mirth stops dead when the film, which has #MeToo messaging, asks to be taken with a modicum of seriousness.There’s gore and mutilation, plus a meh-stery Scooby-Doo explanation of the situation that comes together in flashbacks.

You’re basically at remedial “Gone Girl.”  Freida McFadden’s 2022 hit book and the film based on it are both described as psychological thrillers.But that seems off — like calling “The Ver...