Dear Abby: My alcoholic friend wont respect my boundaries

DEAR ABBY: My wife recently immigrated to our current residence in the U.S.from Canada.

She has a 23-year-old son dealing with mental illness back in Canada.He refuses to remain in therapy or to hold a steady job, and he failed out of university. My wife consistently lowers her expectations and continues to support him.

As a result, he has grown comfortable with emotionally manipulating everyone in his family while wallowing in self-pity.He is no longer allowed into our home because of his disrespectful and violent behavior, but he continues to punish his mom for moving on with her life.

When does this end? — GOING FORWARD IN TEXASDEAR GOING FORWARD: You and your wife have my sympathy.You both need a better way to cope with this sad reality.

Her son is not going to change, and you cannot ignore him and pretend this will go away.Connecting with others who understand what you are going through can be an important source of support.

An organization I have mentioned before in my column may guide you in the right direction.It’s the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

Find out more by visiting nami.org.DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who comes to visit at my rural home.She’s an alcoholic.

My husband and I don’t drink.Last time, she became so drunk that she was totally disoriented in my home.

She couldn’t find the bathroom or the bedroom.(We put her to bed.) After she went home the next day, I stewed for a week and finally sent her a message that we could no longer host her, citing the reason as fear she would harm herself or others while driving here and possibly falling down my stairs, leading to a lawsuit. I begged her to get help, and I messaged her son, asking if he could help her.

Now, I have become the enemy! I have dealt with her for many years and watered down her alcohol every time she visited.Should we be done? — OVERDOSED ON HER IN WYOMINGDEAR OVERDOSED: Yes, you should be done — assuming she isn’t already done with you.

Your fri...