Before this year, I had singlehandedly planned every one of my family's trips, and I was over it.Since I'm a travel journalist, the job has always defaulted to me to know where to stay or how to fly cheap.But after years of being the planner and booking every flight and hotel for my husband and two kids — plus parenting in general — I was burned out.So, my husband took the lead on planning a "just us" trip.Together, we landed on a budget we were both comfortable with, then he booked the flights, rental car and a spa in Quebec, Canada.It felt like a huge gift because I didn't have to plan a thing.
But before we hit the road, I wondered: What else could we do to make sure our vacation was a success?Couples trips can feel exciting but can also feel like a lot of pressure.How do you plan a getaway that satisfies the needs of both people? How do you take financial stress out of the equation? What happens if you get into a fight?I asked seasoned couples therapists — one of whom is also a travel advisor for couples — and a financial coach how to pull off a trip that brings both partners back home connected, refreshed and ready to plan the next one.
Here's what they said.Don't just pick a "where" and "when" — decide why you're going and how you want to feel when you get there, says couples therapist and travel advisor Marissa Nelson."Is this vacation about ease? Excitement? What does fun look like on this trip?"Don't forget the big picture.
The point is to take time to notice each other — to remove yourselves from the responsibilities of regular life long enough to remember why you like being together in the first place.By talking this out with your partner, you'll set yourself up for success — not mismatched expectations.For our trip, my goal was simple: to just show up.We both wanted our trip to be about relaxation and reconnection, and I wanted a break from my planner status.
I said to my partner, "I don't care, just book something."Then, let your "why"...