How do we make the Tony Awards great again? Maybe start with the host

So now it’s summertime and the TV is easy.And every out-of-work butcher, baker and unemployed bra-maker is an authority.
Like particularly on the — ugh! — Tonys.One out-of-work lighting expert who never earned enough to cheat on income tax solved the problem of TV’s ratings war.He said: “CBS? Cancel all commercials.
And feature open, like really open, discussions on sex.”Explained is that this would panic the FCC.“Then that’s their problem,” he said.Amateurs are the professional pests of the professionals.
Our vocation is their avocation.People who can’t decide to knock or go for gin without a Ouija board issue decisions on everything artistic.Geniuses at the bottom of everything except their unemployment line forward suggestions — to beings so elevated in the theatrical stratosphere that they wear oxygen masks to write the drivel the Tonys preshow burbles.Oy, is that terrible stuff terrible.
Female emcees — in overdressed overtight gowns with hair pulled tighter than their cheeks — always ask, “Isn’t this the most exciting moment of your life?” Stomachs, hairpieces and behinds are pulled tighter than Mrs.Biden’s bullbleep.
And the smile? Their open mouths could engulf the Grand Canyon.How about once, once, a real question.Like: What’s your method to memorize? Ever blow a line onstage? What if an audience member’s phone goes off and you lose your place? Subscribe to our daily Post Opinion newsletter! Please provide a valid email.
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These lady emcees are rammed into gowns they don’t own with jewelry they don’t own with creativity they don’t own.They think they’re better — at least thinner — than their bosses.
Will somebody, anybody, even a nobody, write some decent questions for them while they’re busy smiling larger than for a root canal.The boobs, tight.Behind, tight...