Pity Gavin Newsom, who cant drown his sorrows at the French Laundry

1.First Partner in Crimeby Riley NorkFederal investigators are apparently questioning Gavin Newsom’s friends and associates, part of an ongoing inquiry that reportedly relates to First Lady Partner Jennifer and her various feminist nonprofits.

This, Gavin explains, is a political witch hunt from Trump: “He’s coming after me because I am considering running for president,” Newsom told supporters.Sure, a person familiar with the investigation disputed that assertion, telling the NYT that the inquiry was launched IN CALIFORNIA, not Washington, but ignore that; here’s what’s even more troubling: The French Laundry, Newsom’s favorite watering hole for pandemic pinot, is ALSO in hot water, facing three labor lawsuits from employees who claim they were skimped on wages.

Here, a totally relatable scandal for Newsom as he prepares to pitch voters in 2028 … don’t you hate it when your wife’s “girlboss” charities get investigated for fraud, and you can’t even commiserate about it at your favorite five-star restaurant because the help went on strike?2.Breaking: Your phone is still horrible for youby Blake DodgeAccording to a new study in the National Bureau of Economic Research, iPhones are at least partially responsible for 33-52% of the decline in fertility among women ages 15-44.

The observational study compared birth rates in places where people got iPhones earlier versus later, finding the largest declines among younger women.Which makes sense.

We already know, as the authors noted, that smartphones reduce in-person interactions and sexual frequency while increasing pornography use … and I’m nearly looking at the whole thing as good news, actually.Finally, we’re having a national conversation about the birth rate that doesn’t blame the whole thing on the cost of living (as though our parents had two dimes to rub together before having us in their 20s).

I mean sure, we’re still blaming capitalism, but at least looking at the conseque...