Although hes no longer alive, my dads lessons still inspire me this Fathers Day
Six years ago, I published my book “The Inside Ride: A Journey Into Manhood,” which told the story of the extraordinary bond I shared with my father, Max.For nearly 30 years, the two of us — both practicing therapists — exchanged hundreds of handwritten letters.
In them we laid bare our disagreements and dreams, our views on politics and passion, family and friendship, vulnerability and manhood. What began as a deliberate effort to cross the emotional distance so many fathers and sons never bridge became the deepest lifeline of my life.My father passed in 2011, but the conversation never really stopped.I have tried to walk in his footsteps the best I know how — raising my own children, Jared and Emily, and discovering firsthand the joys, fears, exhaustion and profound beauty of fatherhood that he spent years preparing me for.Now Jared and Emily are raising families of their own, navigating the same sacred struggles, exhilarating triumphs,and quiet heartaches. The circle keeps turning.Being a father is daunting and exhilarating, exasperating and euphoric — often all at once.
It is the most humbling, terrifying, and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t trade a single moment of it.On this Father’s Day, as I approach my 75th birthday, I find myself reaching across the veil once more.What follows is my latest letter to my dad in heaven — a continuation of a conversation that refuses to end.
It is a testament to love that outlives the body, to lessons that echo through generations, and to the healing power of vulnerability between men.Dear Dad,I awoke before first light this morning, my chest tight with longing for you as Father’s Day draws near and my seventy-fifth year approaches.I had only just returned from the mist-shrouded mountains of Rwanda with your grandson and his beautiful family.There, deep in that ancient wilderness, he guided me to the place where his soul first caught fire — a living legacy born from journeys you and I ...