Oh baby! New York Times is losing its mind because Republican women are having children

This isn’t pregnancy.It’s a political plot.A full-blown, unhinged conspiracy orchestrated by the MAGA movement to take over the hearts, minds and uteruses of gestating people all over the nation, one bassinet, one burp, one stretch mark at a time.The New York Times has cracked the code.

It’s Pulitzer time, baby!In an investigation masquerading as a style piece, the Paper of Record published an unglued commentary, researched with the self-seriousness of Watergate revealing that a whopping three women connected to the White House are preggers.At the same time!That Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Katie Miller, the wife of White House deputy chief of staff for policy Stephen Miller and Second Lady Usha Vance should all be on the nest simultaneously isn’t just a happy mini baby boom.It is — according to the Times — a pernicious “Handmaid’s Tale”-style political plot promoting conservative child-making frenzy in an age of declining birthrates and the collapse of the Democratic Party in middle America.It’s a cautionary fable, a warning that the dreaded GOP’s steady rate of reproduction amid a Democratic baby drought poses a dire threat to the nation.According to the Gray Lady (now Gray Female-Identifying Newspaper) Republicans are planning to win support and ever-greater numbers of adherents by growing their own voters.

One infant at a time.It’s all laid out in the piece entitled “The Politics and Power of the Pregnancy Image.”In it, Times chief fashion critic Vanessa Friedman writes: “That three such prominent women in the MAGA movement were pregnant at pretty much the same time was, indubitably, a coincidence.”Or maybe not.“But” — there’s always a “but” — “for an administration that has such an intuitive and strategic understanding of the power of aesthetics that an unspoken dress code in which men outfit themselves in the image of the president has developed, it has also become a telling one,” Friedman froths....