Dear Abby: My nephew ghosted our family now he wants a wedding gift

DEAR ABBY: Our nephew “Conrad” is engaged to be married soon.For several reasons, we are unable to attend the wedding.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t hesitate to send a generous gift as I have for our other nieces and nephews.However, Conrad is not normal.

He doesn’t speak to me, my husband or our children, two of whom are his age.We have never done anything to offend him, as far as I know, and it’s not just our family.

He also ignores other specific family members.Conrad’s mother describes him as “the kindest” and “most loving” person.However, we have never seen that side of him.

We have witnessed only narcissism and rudeness.He speaks only to those he thinks elevate his status or make him look good in some way.

If, according to Conrad, we do not exist, are we still obligated to send a wedding gift? — INVISIBLE IN THE SOUTHERN PLAINSDEAR INVISIBLE: Are you certain you will receive a wedding invitation from this nephew? Technically, if you don’t attend, you’re not required to give him anything.However, in light of the fact that you have been generous to your other nieces and nephews, it might be more diplomatic to send a less expensive token gift to mollify his parents.DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years.

For the first three years, I tried to get closer to my in-laws but was told I wasn’t welcome.I knew they didn’t like me, but I tried my hardest to win them over because family is important to me.

In the end, I was asked to leave their house.My husband was on my side, but I realized I couldn’t separate him from his family.

So, for seven years he’s had the support of his family and mine. One of his siblings is now sick, and it’s looking grim.I do not feel my presence is required at the funeral as no one in his family likes me.

Am I wrong? Anytime I run into his family, they are confrontational.— STAYING AWAY IN ILLINOISDEAR STAYING AWAY: Ask your husband if he would like your emotional support at his si...