Exclusive | I was a 9/11 first responder I struggle with the eventual deaths of my peers, Im one of the lucky ones despite major surgeries

I haven’t worn a watch since I lost it at Ground Zero on September 11, 2001. That day has given me other ways to mark time — remembrances, family milestones and the continued loss of too many friends.Time has been a precious gift and, for survivors, responders and others who lived and worked in downtown Manhattan following the attacks, sometimes a cruelty. Time certainly was cruel to me and my fellow NYPD officers as we searched for survivors on 9/11.

The attacks came in the morning, but it wasn’t until evening that a firefighter told us about two trapped officers in the debris from the collapse of both towers.We didn’t know yet that the rescue would become a 14-hour ordeal for rookie Port Authority Police Officer Will Jimeno, and 22 hours for Port Authority Police Sgt. John McLoughlin.They were injured and trapped under 30 feet of rubble.

Each minute, they focused on surviving.As we crawled and scraped underground with bare hands to free them, I thought of both my own family and those two men, who became two of only 20 saved from the fallen towers.I lost 14 friends that day.

I mark those losses every time I glance at another person’s watch, or a computer or television screen because I haven’t replaced my lost watch.It’s a habit I don’t want to break.  Sometimes I marvel at not having lost even more friends on Sept.

11 — and struggle with the eventual deaths that day set in motion.They’re ongoing, because people who worked at Ground Zero have been developing cancers and chronic illnesses from the toxic dust and debris at the site.

A single, terrifying day left a 25-year trail of medical and emotional challenges.Physicians at the World Trade Center Health Program, where I am a patient, have diagnosed, treated and monitored more than 5,0000 patients and a range of diseases that are still unfolding. Everything from respiratory conditions, sleep disorders, and mental health challenges, to more than 16 categories of cancer have led us to a...