Campus rape is every moms nightmare and demands a response

Four reported rapes in three weeks at Cal State San Marcos.Seven fraternity members accused of drugging and raping a Cornell student.As a mother of four daughters, I read those accounts and think: That could be my child.Then I think about conversations I have already heard.

My daughters and their friends have talked about being at parties where a guy touches them inappropriately, but they don’t want to make a big deal out of it.About finding themselves in situations they want to leave, only to discover how difficult leaving can feel.

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By clicking above you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.Never miss a story I hear those stories and get stuck on one question: Why does a young woman feel responsible for keeping everyone comfortable, when someone has made her uncomfortable?As a mother, that is painful to sit with.

I want my daughters to be confident, independent, and open to the world.I also want them to recognize danger.

Holding those hopes together is one of the hardest parts of watching them grow up.And it has made me examine the lessons girls absorb, including the ones we never mean to teach.

Be polite.Don’t embarrass anyone.

Don’t overreact.Then a boy crosses a boundary, and somehow the girl is left deciding whether objecting would make her difficult.“Boys will be boys” gives boys permission to act inappropriately and hands girls the burden of managing the consequences.

I don’t want another generation buying into this harmful narrative. I have spent years thinking about my daughters’ education and opportunities.These conversations bring me back to something more basic: Do they feel entitled to say no? To change their minds? To leave without offering an explanation that satisfies everyone else? I want my daughters and their friends to know they can call me regardless of whatever h...