Its not victim blaming to ask how women can better protect themselves from sexual assault

We need to stop reprimanding people for “victim blaming” when they’re exercising common sense.An alleged gang rape at Cornell University has set the internet ablaze with debate.But whenever anyone asks what the victim did to find themselves in that situation, they’re chastised.Yet these are exactly the kinds of conversations we need to be having to protect other women from similar fates.

Pointing out a woman’s missteps does not mean one believes she deserves what happened to her.It helps stop the same thing from happening again.It goes without saying that what allegedly happened to “Jane Doe” at Cornell is horrific.In October 2024, an apparently extremely intoxicated young woman showed up to a fraternity house and agreed to have sex with two frat brothers.Unbeknownst to her, one of the men had sent a Snapchat message out to 57 members of the fraternity bragging that they had “free p—y” available and that they could come in and “whip it out.”Obviously disgusting behavior.

Asking how Jane Doe ended up there in the first place doesn’t excuse it.At the same time, the story she tells in court filings and police interviews reveals some catastrophic missteps on her part.Her evening started, she says, with 10 shots at a local bar — 10 shots — before she showed up at a frat house to meet one member she knew.She then says she agreed to a threesome at their dorm and took ketamine — some of which she reportedly snorted off one of their genitals.There’s no question that a purported ten drinks and a helping of ketamine would make someone far too incapacitated to think clearly.

But we must be able to ask: what could she have done differently to prevent this situation?It’s not blaming the victim to acknowledge that she, too, had a part in ending up alone with multiple men, under the influence of multiple substances.There’s no getting around it: everyone involved here made terrible decisions.We should be able to say as much, because pretendi...