Other Mommy review: Jessica Chastains awful horror movie is so stupid, youll have to redo high school

Running time: 93 minutes.Rated R (some bloody violence and language).

In theaters.Please go see other movie.Here’s some critic inside baseball: When a studio screens their film for the press at 6:30 p.m.on a Thursday — well after the public in some cities can already pay to see it — that is not a promising sign.Such is the case with “Other Mommy,” the rancid new horror flick starring Jessica Chastain that for 93 minutes I longed to be emancipated from.Should you masochists make it to the end, you will feel noticeably dumber after you leave.

You might walk into a sliding glass door, or try to pay for groceries with your laundry card.5 x 2 = 7.Directed by Rob Savage, moronic “Other Mommy” has been coasting for months on the anticipation built by its creepy trailer, which showed an Oscar-winning actress unnervingly playing dual roles: A suburban mom and her sinister doppelgänger that menacingly stalks a child.That viral clip also included the movie’s sole successful moment, when a grinning woman is cooking pasta for her little daughter.

But there’s something off about her.She’s not mommy at all — she’s Other Mommy! That’s the very first scene.

There’s nothing even slightly scary after that, despite Chastain being so admirably intense it looks like she’s trying to force an aneurysm.Can you blame her?Savage has also claimed there is upwards of 50 jump scares in his movie, which is much like bragging that you cooked a donut with a ton of trans fat.

I counted just twenty-two.That led me to beg an existential question: If nobody jumps or is scared, what exactly is a jump scare?The idea of Nathan Elston’s screenplay isn’t really a new one.

Malevolent imaginary friends also haunt kids in movies like “Come Play” or, in a way, “The Babadook.” Those meh-to-terrific tales tap into base-level youthful fears: What’s in the closet? What’s under the bed?Of course, at “Other Mommy” the only question is: Did the filmmakers kidnap...