Dear Abby: My mom wont stop telling me about her cheating habit

DEAR ABBY: Ever since I was a child, my mom has regarded me as wise, thoughtful and intelligent.She has confided about family issues, tensions at church and cheating at her workplace.

Abby, I don’t want to be her confidant.Am I doomed to always hear her never-ending problems? She creates them herself by jumping to conclusions and suspecting everyone has ill intentions.

While I understand this is to protect herself, it’s exhausting to listen to and to advise when I know nothing will change. The worst part is that I can’t confide in her.She doesn’t understand my perspective.

I don’t think she even tries.Our relationship is one-sided.

Sometimes I feel like I’m her mom.She talks to no one else like this and refuses to go to therapy.

I’m a senior in high school and plan to go to college.I don’t want to leave her like this.

How can I help her? — CAPTIVE CONFIDANT IN IOWADEAR CAPTIVE CONFIDANT: The best chance you have of helping your emotionally dependent mother would be to start by helping yourself.Begin making plans about where you will go to college, creating plenty of physical space between you and Mom. The next time she starts confiding (which, from what you have written, seems more like gossiping), tell her you don’t have time to listen and that she should discuss it with a contemporary who has more life experience than you.

(It’s the truth.) She won’t like hearing it and may try to make you feel guilty, but don’t fall for it. Keep repeating to your mother that her problems are more than you can handle and that talking to you about them hasn’t helped her, which is why you want her to talk with a licensed mental health professional.That, my girl, would be the best way to help your mother.DEAR ABBY: I have a disagreement with my fiancee.

“Fran” has been a widow for nearly six years.I have been divorced for 34 years from a woman who gave me two sons.

Fran also has a son and a daughter, who live nearby.We have been dating for...