Dear Abby: My ex-husband hates our son

DEAR ABBY: My ex, “Hank,” and I have two sons together.Both are smart, kind, college-educated, hardworking and independent young adults.Hank is estranged from our younger son, “Andrew.” Andrew could never live up to his father’s expectations.

This is one of the reasons I fell out of love with my husband.He would initiate a verbal confrontation with Andrew and say things like, “You are not my son.” Later, he’d clarify that he meant Andrew doesn’t act like his older brother does.

Another example: “You didn’t call me last week, so I’m not going to help you out today.”It has been painful to watch as a mom, and for a child to experience.The one blessing is that both boys love each other.

I believe children should know they are loved by their parents.They should NOT have to continually prove they are worthy of their parent’s love.

It crushes me that Andrew doesn’t have a father he can count on to be there for him unconditionally.Andrew had emergency surgery this week, and Hank never bothered to check in to ask how he was doing.We have tried therapy.

Is there anything else that would help with the estrangement between a father and a son? — MOM WHO MUST ALSO BE DADDEAR MOM: What a sad letter, and what a poor excuse for a husband and father.Your ex-husband engineered the estrangement, and nothing you or Andrew can do will fix it.

You didn’t mention how Andrew’s lack of a healthy relationship with his father has affected him.Was the therapy that was tried family therapy? Marriage counseling for you and your ex? Individual therapy for your son?It’s possible that a licensed mental health professional might help Andrew come to terms with the years of emotional neglect he has suffered, but only if he agrees he needs it.DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old woman from Pakistan.

I read your advice with great interest.Since childhood, it was always hard for me to make friends.

People who I liked I pushed hard to be friends with, but I guess I ca...