Dear Abby: My dead sons wife has grown distant and had a grandchild I didnt know about

DEAR ABBY: My son died of cancer at 33.It was heartbreaking.

My daughter-in-law, “Belinda,” had grown distant before his death, and although they had a son through artificial insemination, I have almost never seen him.I helped with the weeding in my son’s yard, but any time I came, Belinda always had the baby at the park or someplace else.Now that my son is gone, she won’t answer any phone calls or texts.

We do have some contact with her family.They have asked her why she won’t contact us, and she has no explanation.

My theory is that Belinda was uncomfortable sharing our son, and it has transferred to the grandchildren.I say “grandchildren” because she used his sperm to have another child.

We found out by accident that a baby girl was born.We were never notified.

While I doubt this plays a big part in this, Belinda is bipolar.As it stands, I no longer make an effort to have a relationship with my grandchildren.They are so young, and I anticipate difficulty in pursuing grandparents’ rights because of their ages and their mother’s attitude toward us.

This is painful, as they are the only part of my son that remains.I feel helpless and have pretty much blocked out the fact that I have grandchildren.

Do you have any advice? — BLOCKED IN OHIODEAR BLOCKED: What a sad letter.I do have some thoughts about your situation.

The first is that because your son’s sperm was used to conceive the children, you might benefit from discussing this with an attorney and asking if your state is one in which there are grandparents’ rights.The second is, because you are hurting, ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed family therapist to help you accept what you cannot change.

You have my sympathy.DEAR ABBY: My mother took care of her mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s for nine years.My father had two sisters who had nothing to do with their mother during that time.

Now, the younger sister is having health problems and wants my parents, who are 78, to t...