Dear Abby: My husband has cancer, but our children visit us too often and it is making our lives stressful
DEAR ABBY: My husband is battling cancer.He has good days and bad days.
He is not at the end, but he can no longer do a lot of things for himself.At this point, we are very busy with doctors and treatments.
We have 14 medical treatments this month alone. His children want to visit from out of town frequently.Of course they want to see their dad, and I understand.
However, how can I moderate the visits graciously without discouraging them so the additional responsibilities don’t wear me out? I have tried setting some limits, and some of them pay attention to what I say.However, one “child” (age 50) doesn’t listen.
They come to town and want to spend all day with Dad.I have to provide meals, snacks, beverages and attempt to monitor my husband’s rest time as well as my own. I have tried limiting the number of days, but I am ignored.
The last time, my husband and I suggested four days instead of seven, but we were ignored.Now, this child wants to come for a month.
Help, please.— CARETAKER IN UTAHDEAR CARETAKER: That this “child” would ignore not only your wishes but also their father’s is terrible.
I’m sorry you didn’t mention where this person stays when they visit, but it should not be in your home.They should stay at a hotel or motel and they, not you, should be responsible for their meals. Your husband can help with this to some degree.
When he’s tired and needs to rest, he should be willing to tell his child it’s time to go.This child should also be willing to lend a hand wherever it’s needed, including shopping for groceries, doing laundry and taking Dad to medical appointments so you can rest. Drawing the line isn’t easy, but once it’s done, you will both be glad you did.DEAR ABBY: My mother loves exchanging gifts and spends a lot of time and energy choosing and elaborately wrapping items for all the members of our family.
She’s also retired and living on a limited, fixed income.She showers me and my kids with expe...