Dear Abby: Im afraid my family will be mad if I dont die before my husband

DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Al,” and I are retired and live on a farm with a great son and daughter-in-law.Al is the best person I have ever known, and he adores me.

Everyone loves and respects him, and they seek his friendship, approval and advice, which is usually right.He’s a rarity.

Our son “Trent” and his wife idolize him. My issue? When people, especially the kids, need advice or have questions, they call Al.If they need help, they call me and ask for Dad.

(I am never asked or called.) The kids do love me, but Al has the “magic.” I’m terrified at the idea of him passing before me.I’m afraid everyone will be mad at me for not dying first.

This is not self-pity.I’d just like to feel needed and wise, too.

Please advise me on how to not feel worthless because I’m not like my husband.— OVERLOOKED IN SOUTH CAROLINADEAR OVERLOOKED: In your marriage, your husband is the dominant partner, the figure who gets the majority of the attention.

This happens often with politicians and entertainers.It takes a special kind of spouse to be as supportive as you are and have been. I’m sorry you don’t value yourself more highly.

You have successfully raised a son and have a healthy relationship with your daughter-in-law.Because you feel so deep in Al’s shadow, it’s time to talk to him and your son about this.

They may not realize how sad you feel. As to your fear about him “dying first,” women usually outlive their husbands.No one would “hate” you for surviving.

You are neither worthless nor a nonentity; you are simply someone who is unaware of her own value.DEAR ABBY: Some of my very good friends are married to less-than-stellar partners.There are money issues, infidelity, abuse and everything in between.

I hear about their issues constantly, and I don’t know how to respond anymore.It’s difficult seeing close friends struggle when there’s not much I can do to help. I know these friends are not asking for help — just ventin...