Dear Abby: My sons divorce has driven him off the wagon and cost him his job
DEAR ABBY: Seven months ago, my son filed for divorce from his wife of 22 years.Three months ago, he introduced us to “Carlene.” Abby, the woman has five children with three different men and is currently married to her second husband.
(She filed for divorce two months ago.) She has custody of only two of her children.Since Carlene entered the picture, my son has been drinking again and doing drugs.He has been fired from his job after 17 years.
I have no desire to invite Carlene into my home or my heart.Please advise me about how I can let my son know that I believe she’s his downfall, and I don’t want any kind of relationship with her or her nasty, disrespectful brats.
— DECISIVE IN THE EASTDEAR DECISIVE: You can’t control your adult son.Do not proclaim to him that Carlene is his downfall and you want nothing to do with her nasty, disrespectful brats.
Instead, simply become less and less available.Your behavior will send a message, provided your son sobers up enough to recognize it. P.S.
Although you didn’t specifically mention that Carlene is a substance abuser, I am assuming that, whatever your formerly clean son is doing, he and his girlfriend are doing it together.Please don’t blame those kids for their bad behavior, which was never corrected by their mother.
None of this is their fault.DEAR ABBY: My 71-year-old sister is a hoarder.She has always been disorganized and constantly runs late.
She was diagnosed many years ago with ADHD.Her home is full of unfinished “projects” and things she intends to recycle. Family members, myself included, refuse to go inside her home and would likely be turned away if we did show up.
A distinct odor clings to her clothes and lingers in my car and house several hours after she has left.Her home is a health hazard.
I worry she’ll trip over the piles of junk and stacks of boxes. At what point is it my business to intervene? The approach I’ve always taken is that it’s her life, her home and if...