My Boss Is a Manipulative Creep. What Can I Do?

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Letters may be edited.Boundary CollapseDear Work Friend,I work in a role that was specifically created to support a department head who’s not my direct manager.Over the last few months, our once close professional relationship has shifted in an uncomfortable way.

He became upset that I spent time socially with other co-workers outside the office but not him, and told me he felt hurt and “rejected” that I maintain boundaries between my work and personal life.I repeatedly explained that those boundaries are important and that I do not want the relationship to become more intimate.

Instead of accepting this, he began disclosing problems in his home life.When I was considering a role working with another leader at the company, he told me that if I did that, “he couldn’t protect me.” I told him that his language and behavior felt creepy, romantically charged, disrespectful and inappropriate.During a subsequent, intense late-night conversation, he said he hated “walking on eggshells” around me and even said he wanted to quit.I don’t want to overreact or destroy my career.

I also don’t want either of us to quit.In an ideal world, I would like to repair the working relationship.

But I also feel constantly on edge, emotionally burdened and undignified.I’m struggling with several questions: Am I right to view this as sexual harassment or at least a serious boundary violation? How do you maintain professionalism with someone after they’ve made the relationship emotionally coercive? If it’s even possible, what would healthy repair look like in a situation like this?You should talk to a lawyer.What you’re experiencing is sexual harassment by any practical measure: The department head has created a hostile work environment and implied a quid pro quo threat.

But I’m not qualified to say...