Dear Abby: My in-laws gift me half as much money as they give other family members
DEAR ABBY: Every year for birthdays and holidays, my in-laws give cash as gifts to their children and their spouses.Should I be hurt that my in-laws always give an equal amount to my brothers-in-law and their spouses, while I always receive half the amount? I don’t need the cash, but the blatant difference makes me feel less valued than their other daughters-in-law.I host all the family celebrations, visit my in-laws weekly and help my husband with repairs and upkeep around his parents’ home.
My brothers-in-law and their spouses give their parents only limited amounts of time on holidays and limited physical assistance to their parents only if my husband begs for help.I would never say anything to my husband because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.I just want to know if I am being petty.
— LESS THAN IN NEW YORKDEAR LESS THAN: It appears your in-laws do not appreciate your efforts to be a good daughter-in-law.You are not “petty” for noticing the discrepancy, and I don’t blame you for feeling “less than,” because that is how you are being treated.I do think you should have mentioned this to your husband when it first started happening.
That kind of gift-giving is supposed to be equal.When it isn’t, there is something wrong.
Whether you choose to continue helping them to the extent you have in the future is up to you.DEAR ABBY: At the company where I work, multiple departments share a workspace.While most of my colleagues are quiet and considerate, certain members of one department are very loud.
They talk nonstop (nothing work-related) and have no consideration for others who are trying to work and concentrate.It has reached the point that it is next to impossible to accomplish any work on a daily basis.These individuals’ managers not only refuse to correct these behaviors, but often join in themselves.
I understand I don’t work in a library, but I and others are desperate for a reasonable work setting and are trying to find the best ap...