Dear Abby: My FIL always dismisses my daughters health issues and I cant bite my tongue anymore
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have four children, two of whom have congenital health issues we’ve been managing.One child is leading a “normal” life and is a spunky little kid.
Our other child may be more impacted down the road, and we continue to seek answers.If people ask how either one of them is doing, we are open to sharing.
Depending on how close we are to family or friends, we may share a bit more or a bit fewer of the details.It’s an approach that has been working, and in return, we mostly receive supportive feedback.The issue is that my father-in-law always has a comment to make.
I am sure he means well, but he tends to give responses like, “Oh, that’s probably nothing,” “Well, she looks fine to me,” or “One day, this will all be behind you.” It gets under my skin.His responses are either dismissive of our concerns or they downplay the extent of the illness, especially when it’s related to the underlying health concerns. I always bite my tongue.
With our more impacted child, I have been hesitant to share anything because I don’t want to hear his comments.The matter is serious from what we know right now, and my husband did share some of it with his parents because he felt they needed to know.
With things now in the open, I expect follow-up questions from them. To prepare for more comments, how can I respectfully let my FIL know they are unnecessary and, at times, hurtful to us because we are doing so much to care for our children? I’m afraid one of his next comments will be the last straw for me, and I don’t want to react disrespectfully.— ANXIOUS DAUGHTER-IN-LAWDEAR DIL: Your father-in-law may be attempting to put a positive spin on a difficult subject when he downplays the problems your child is facing.
The way to deal with this would be to gather your thoughts and have an honest conversation with him about how it makes you feel.If you do, there is less likelihood of your exploding upon hearing what may be his attemp...