Hayden Panettiere defends giving up custody of her daughter despite intense 'emotional pain'

Hayden Panettiere is opening up about what she calls the most painful decision she's ever made as a mother.In her memoir, "This Is Me: A Reckoning," the "Nashville" alum opens up about why she gave full custody of her daughter, Kaya, to her ex-fiancé, Wladimir Klitschko.Panettiere reveals that her 11-year-old daughter has lived with her father since 2018."I just knew that if I wanted to ...

I knew how bad a place I was in," the actress told Fox News Digital."I hid it from my daughter as much as I could."HAYDEN PANETTIERE SAYS FILMING ‘NASHVILLE’ WAS LIKE LIVING THROUGH ADDICTION TWICEHayden Panettiere is opening up about the heartbreaking decision that led to daughter Kaya living with ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko since 2018.

(Storm Santos)"When I saw her in the environment over there (in Europe) and the support system that she had, I said to myself, 'If I fight, if I go to war about this, it's going to permanently damage my child.It's going to be incredibly public.

She's got two very famous parents, and it's going to be ugly.'""I said, 'You know what? Let her grow up here,'" she said."I will travel here as much as I can.

I know she's safe.I know she's well taken care of — beyond well taken care of.

She has an incredible life.And I also knew that there would be a day when she would come back to me.""This Is Me: A Reckoning" by Hayden Panettiere is out now.

(Grand Central Publishing)"I tried to numb myself," the 36-year-old admitted."It was very hard to wrap my mind around the pain, the emotional pain of that.

But you keep putting one foot in front of the other somehow."WATCH: HAYDEN PANETTIERE EXPLAINS THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CHALLENGES OF MAKING NEW THRILLER ‘SLEEPWALKER’In the book, Panettiere wrote that not being under the same roof as Kaya has been "the most gut-wrenching experience of my life.""...I grieve that I'm not the mother I thought I'd be and definitely not the mother I want to be (trust me, no one should ever have to raise a child on...