Dear Abby: My sister believes its her way or the highway, and Im tired of it

DEAR ABBY: My unpleasant older sister lives by the creed, “It’s my way or the highway.” As a result, she has no close friends, no husband or partner, no social circle.She was “strongly encouraged” to take early retirement from teaching because she couldn’t get along with her co-workers. After retirement, she joined a few clubs but soon quit because they “didn’t do things right,” aka her way.

Even though she treats me terribly, I have tried for years to be the better person and invite her to my family gatherings so she doesn’t have to spend holidays alone. Unfortunately, she is also the world’s worst houseguest.Within minutes of arriving, she announces a list of things she just can’t stand (and are therefore prohibited during her stay).

These include certain TV shows, music, foods, ingredients, topics of conversation, any family story that includes her, etc.She stays until everyone has gone and then berates me for everything that I did wrong during her visit. If I don’t invite her, I feel guilty that she’s alone and has no other options.

If I do invite her, I’m so stressed that I don’t get to enjoy having time with my children and grandchildren, which is very precious to me.What do you recommend I do? — TORN SISTER IN WASHINGTONDEAR SISTER: I think you have suffered enough.

If you decide to invite your older sister to visit again, first establish some ground rules.The first should be that when she’s under your roof, you, not she, will decide on what entertainment is appropriate and what foods you will serve.

And how they’re prepared.No topic of discussion will be off-limits.

If there is something she can’t eat, she can refuse it.If something being talked about is not to her liking, she’s free to leave the room.The second ground rule should be that you are not obligated to entertain her 24/7, particularly if you want to spend time with the grandchildren. Of course, Sissy is free to reject your kind invitation, but i...