Dear Abby: My boyfriend wants to move in with me but not with my autistic son
DEAR ABBY: I’m a single mother of an 18-year-old son with autism.I have known “Cliff” for more than 20 years.
We live on opposite coasts.I want to be with him and he with me, though he doesn’t want my son to live with us at this time.
He wants it to be just the two of us for a while.Abby, my son is not able to live on his own.
Do you have any advice as to what to do? — CLUELESS IN THE WESTDEAR CLUELESS: It troubles me that Cliff is already trying to exclude your son from the equation.What exactly does he expect you to do with your son during this “honeymoon” period, and how long does he think it should last? It is important that you find out before this romance goes any further.
What alternative living arrangements does Cliff have in mind for your son, what will they cost and who will be expected to pay for them?You didn’t mention how functional your son is, or how he interacts with others.Because he is 18, it’s time to start thinking ahead regardless of Cliff.
What will become of your son if something should happen to you? Would he be cared for by other relatives? Would a group living arrangement work for him? Some developmentally disabled individuals thrive when they have social interaction and some kind of work to do.Before you start planning your love life, you need to address these issues.
The Autism Society of America (autismsociety.org) may be able to help you navigate them.DEAR ABBY: My wife passed away unexpectedly while we were in Europe.I phoned several people in the U.S.
to let them know and asked that they let others know.Someone in my wife’s hometown posted the news to Facebook barely six hours after I had found her.
My grief at the time was so great that I could not respond, as I was dealing with getting her remains back home.This has bothered me ever since that horrible day.I sent the person a message, telling him I felt he had been disrespectful to me and my children.
He replied that he had been so sad to learn that my ...