Practical Magic 2 review: Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullocks wretched sequel is cursed

Runtime: 130 minutes. PG-13 (Brief strong language, suggestive material, some violent content).I always appreciate it when a movie character helps me out with a lede.“As far as I was concerned, magic was in our past — and good riddance,” says Sandra Bullock’s Sally Owens in the foul “Practical Magic 2.”Agreed, Sally.I, too, thought ‘Magic’ was in my past.

But no.In order to meet 2026’s nostalgia quota, here’s a 28-years-later followup to the cult flop about margarita-loving sister witches starring Bullock and Nicole Kidman.By the pricking of my thumbs, something wretched this way comes!Truth be told, I’ve never understood the appeal of the 1998 original beyond its luminous star duo.It starts out the same way most ’80s and ’90s movies about magic (“The Witches,” “Hocus Pocus,” “Beetlejuice”) do — with aerial footage of a small town accompanied by loud orchestral music.Then, the early scenes are cottage quaint, New England B&B stuff, before sharp-turning into a perplexing abuse story with a detective trying to solve a murder as he aggressively hits on the chief suspect.

 Sorceress siblings Sally and Gilly (Kidman) have “midnight margaritas!,” hold a seance and then the movie ends cute like it’s “My Best Friend’s Wedding.”Fans love it for its flaws, I suppose. What the first one does have in spots, however, is charm.That intangible quality is totally absent from the sequel that’s directed by Susanne Bier (“Bird Box,” “After the Wedding”) for some reason.No.

2 plays like she pressed “record” at a first rehearsal and then slapped on some not-so-special effects.Watching it is often awkward.Bullock and Kidman crack joke after joke that nobody laughs at because of bad writing and even worse editing.Beyond the cheap sell of seeing beloved characters again, “Practical Magic 2” is not an especially entertaining movie.The glacial runtime does it no favors.

At two hours and 10 minutes, it’s some 2...