It was recovered, but what is she supposed to do? Drive around in a Porsche that had some car thief cruising around in it?Hell no.SIMONE BILES QUESTIONS WHETHER $23,000 FOR A RED CARPET GLAM IS 'THE NEW NORM' IN VIRAL TIKTOKGymnast Simone Biles looks on before the game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field in Chicago, Ill., on Sept.21, 2025.
(Geoff Stellfox/Getty Images)The former Olympic gymnast broke the news to her TikTok followers the way all news is broken on that platform: while applying makeup.Biles revealed that her ride was lifted from her Chicago-area home."I feel like I need a new car because during our last few months in Chicago, three men in masks came to our house and stole our Porsche.Stole the GTS," she said.Now, she didn't specify which model Porsche, but the GTS is a high-performance trim and not generally the sort of thing you see soccer moms wheeling into the unnecessarily tight Trader Joe's parking lot.THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE.
DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!Respect on that front.Fortunately, the car owned by her and her husband, Indianapolis Colts safety Jonathan Owens, was recovered.Gymnast Simone Biles greets her husband and Chicago Bears defensive back Jonathan Owens (36) before the game against the Seattle Seahawks at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois, on Dec.26, 2024.
(Daniel Bartel/Imagn Images)Unfortunately, there aren't enough pine-scented fresheners in the world to get rid of the stink that comes with having your car stolen.Also, it shows up on the ol' Carfax report.That’s going to hurt the Porsche’s trade-in value, although people will still line up to buy Biles' once-stolen Porsche.Now, there's a case to be made that this is a little out of touch.
A strong, compelling case.But I get it.If three masked fellas broke into my garage and made off with my mint-condish, sensibly rugged 2025 Ford Bronco Sport (hey, I always catch people eye-balling it), I'd have a to...