Dear Abby: Ive fallen in love with my first cousin, can I marry her?

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in his 60s who lost his wife two years ago to a heart attack.I have fallen in love with my cousin, who is also in her 60s, divorced and a lawyer.

Is it reasonable for me to ask her to go with me on dates? Can a man marry his first cousin? — CONFUSED IN NEW JERSEYDEAR CONFUSED: According to the free legal reference website Justia (law.justia.com), first cousins are not listed among the types of forbidden marriages or civil unions in the state of New Jersey.In other words, yes, it seems to be legal where you live.Even so, you will want to tread very carefully here.

You say you’ve fallen in love with her, but are you sure she has romantic feelings for you? If not, you risk alienating a family member you deeply respect and admire.DEAR ABBY: I have two brothers, “Derek” and “Paul,” who have not spoken to each other in more than six years.There was no falling-out; they’re simply bad at communicating (even with other siblings).

Last year, Derek wanted to get together with all the siblings, but Paul wouldn’t come (no reason given).I just found out that Derek has terminal cancer.He doesn’t want Paul to know.

I assume it has to do with Paul not wanting to get together, which hurt Derek’s feelings.I believe Paul should be told about Derek’s condition.

What is the best way to get Derek to reconsider informing Paul of his diagnosis? — IN THE MIDDLEDEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You and your family have my sympathy for Derek’s condition.It’s not wise to assume anything in a situation like this.

If you want to know why Derek is keeping his cancer a secret from Paul, ask him.Tell him you’re there for him and will help him break the news if he would like.Meanwhile, approach Paul to plan a sibling get-together that would fit his schedule.

If he still refuses, it’s likely these two have problems you’re unaware of that go beyond poor communication skills.Subscribe to our daily Post Opinion newsletter! P...