Love bombing in LA: Dating ritual with a sinister twist

“Love bombing” is where one person in a relationship manipulates the other to create an emotional dependency.It’s a dangerous trend in dating.And in superficial LA, unfortunately, it’s a big trend.

On a recent evening in Santa Monica, I stumbled across what seemed like a marriage proposal.A pink carpet lined with rose petals and candles led to a makeshift dais.

Within the heart-shaped backdrop behind the platform was a neon light contorted into the text of a Spanish phrase.  The biggest news, opinion and culture shaping California right now.Please provide a valid email.

By clicking above you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.Never miss a story A young man handed a young woman flowers.

They kissed.Were they getting married? No. The sign in Spanish read: “¿Quieres ser mi novia?” That means: “Will you be my girlfriend?”Yeah, I know.This is insane.

This is overkill. And I hate to say it — but it’s a sign of love bombing. A love bomber makes the object of their affection feel so loved, to such an extreme degree, that their boundaries come down. If you’re the target, you become the center of their universe, and then, big surprise — they become the center of yours.  Research tells us it’s used to gain control.And it often happens at the beginning of a relationship.Like, when you define the relationship — and ask her to become your girlfriend, ahem, novia.What are the signs, you ask? Over-the-top proposals are just one example in a litany of them.

They include constant communication, discussions of moving in together, and gestures that are not proportionate to how long you’ve been acquainted.Conversely, with genuine interest, they do like you, and there is authentic sharing to see if both people are in alignment.  But real connection takes time.All-night conversations don’t count.

Emotional intimacy is not acquired overnight.Meanwhile, love bombing crashes a...